Vainity

I started this blog mainly to showcase, or create a platform for my writing- poetry, fiction, what have you. It was not my intention to become a "blogger." But, recently I haven't been writing anything that I really like. Maybe I'm at a lack of inspiration, a dead end, a quarter life crisis... I'm not really sure. But I need to write something.
And so, I figured the easiest thing to do is to write about myself. Blog-style. I think I always knocked this kind of writing because it seemed so vain and self-indulgent. Who am I kidding to think that someone would actually want to read this? Ultimately though, that's not why I decided to do it. I don't think that's why anybody does this. I think that most bloggers are talkers that just need to talk. Maybe putting it out there is enough and it doesnt really matter if anyone reads it.
Besides, it is so easy to talk about yourself. We do it pretty much all day long. So, in spirit of the blog-style introduction to Lauren I decided to compile a list or all the things that make me up.

1. I've always been short. I'm 5'1 and that's that. I don't mind it at all anymore, but I remember when I would pray for an extra three inches.
2. I hate bananas. I just need to get that out of the way. I hate them, their smell, their taste, literally everything about them. I used to pretend that I was allergic to them and sometimes still do.
3. I absolutely love the smell of eucalyptus. One of my favorite things to do is roll down my windows as I drive by a row of eucalyptus trees. It's such a comforting scent and always reminds me of going to the San Diego Zoo with my dad and brother.
4. I have two brothers, two sisters and one on the way. My parents divorced and both married younger people and both had kids of their own. I love my siblings.
5. My brother Joshua and I raised ourselves. We have one of those rare brother/sister bonds that really stick. He's always been my best friend, I could call him for anything.
6. I have three best friends. They're the best friends a girl could ever ask for. We're all doing our own things, living in different cities, even countries. But we've stayed close.
7. I have a matching tattoo with my best, Nicole. We've been friends since the 7th grade and I'm positive shes my soul mate. (Now I just have to find one that's a man)
8. I'm a vegetarian. I aspire to be vegan but have only been able tot survive three months without dairy. I practice it for a lot of reasons, mainly for the environment and animals rights.
9. I've never broken a bone. I've never really experienced any type of serious physical pain. I always wonder how I could handle it
10. I love kids. I'm so excited to start a family and have kids of my own- when the time comes, of course. I think the thing I love the most about kids is their imagination. I could watch my littler brother play with super hero figures for hours. I love all the different voices he makes.
11. I'm a virgo. I do have impeccable organization skills, but I don't mind a messy room. I've found most of the qualities listed on horoscope websites to be true. Maybe its all in my head, but I really do put faith in astrology.
12. I try so hard to make sure I'm not jaded. I used to be the classic cynic but I was never really happy. I believe more in love now than I ever have before, but its a constant struggle. Which brings me to my next point...
13. I'm afraid I'll never marry. I hate to say this one, or write it, but it is a legitimate fear. It's not the marriage part, its the finding the right person part. I'm so picky, I'm afraid I'll never love someone enough. Or worse.
14. I have a really hard time being happy for people. This is a true character flaw, and though I do my best not to indulge it, it's still there. Whenever I hear about how someone is doing well, I'll just think about myself and usually loose my mind self-pity.
15. I read. All the time, anything. Magazines, newspapers, blogs, cereal boxes. And books. Steinbeck is a master, I look up to him.
16. I need alone time. I do not do well when I can't have some time to myself. What can I say? I like hanging out with myself.
17. It's a stretch, but I would love to be a film critic. That is my absolute dream job. Wish me luck.
18. My future looks bright.

For now, I'll leave it at that.