Rescue

I can pinpoint the exact moment that I decided to become a veterinarian.
Although I've always loved animals and of course considered the possibility of veterinary school many times, I always quickly ruled it out considering my financial situation my unwillingness to change my academic path. I clung to my major, Creative Writing, because it is what I love to do. I didn't want to have to give up my exciting classes or my dream of one day becoming a writer. I always figured it was one or the other.
Last summer I spent most beautiful sunny days working at my friends fathers deli. Making sandwiches and minimum wage. One week I was scheduled three days off in a row. Three whole days! I was so excited about the possibility of doing SOMETHING with my miniature vacation that I honestly could not decide which option to choose. My boyfriend from college had gone home for the summer as well and we were a good hour and a half away from each other for 3 months. So, naturally when he heard of my 3 days off he wanted me to spend them with him. My older brother wanted to spend some time with me as well, as he and I also live a couple hours from each other. But, I wanted to get away from everything and just spend a few days hanging out with myself and finally finishing the book I had been trying to get through all summer. Despite everything, the phone calls from Sean, my mothers advice to just stay home and "lay by the pool" and my friends wanting to go out on the town- I decided to spend some quality time with me, myself and I. To escape the blistering Sacramento summer sun I decided my day would be best spent at Half Moon Bay. It's a gorgeous place, one I highly recommend going to if you have never been. I took a leisurely drive, I was in no hurry. Stopped a few times on my way there and finally made it to the crossroad that separates San Francisco from the San Mateo. I spent 3 years in elementary school living in San Mateo and it was during those three years that my curiosity with animals began. The back yard of our house was basically a 3 story deck with a gate that lead out into a forest area. Deer were always present, sometimes even climbing to the top of the 3rd story deck and clomping around, making my brother and I believe our house was haunted for some time. I decided to pull off the highway and try to find my old, beloved home. Of course, my memory failed me and I was suddenly lost in such a familiar town. Yes, I remembered that soccer field, that grocery store, the street with that huge church, but none of these landmarks could help me anywhere. They did, however, add some comfort to the trip. I felt peaceful, I knew if I just kept looking I would eventually find what I was searching for. And eventually, I did. I found my old elementary school. I put my car in park and walked around the school and then up the road to my old house. Some of the houses in the neighborhood had been remolded but most were the same. Everything was beginning to become familiar again. The smells, the trim on the houses, certain mailboxes, the curve in the road, and that planter I crashed into when learning how to ride my bike. Then I was home again. I stood in my old front yard amazed at how small the house looked and also how unchanged. The smell of the old pine in the front yard was so...chilling and at the same time comforting. To my right stood a doe and some faun grazing in a neighbors lawn, so beautifully, so picture perfect. I felt so peaceful, as if I were getting to know myself again.
I got in my car and continued to drive to Half Moon Bay. Due to some error in MapQuest's directions I ended up on a 2 lane highway surrounded by tall redwoods with nearly no cars present. It was breathtaking. Occassionally I would see a mailbox between the trees and a narrow driveway disappearing in the forest and I wondered what it must be like to live in such blissful seculsion. I drove and drove and drove until I realized that I was running parrallel with the water and decided that meant I would probably never reach the shore. Once I came to this conclusion I turned around and tried to find where I had gone wrong in my directions. I was pretty far out of my way now- about 40 miles, and had had absolutley no cell reception for the past hour. After a few minutes on the side of the road I saw a cat, a very small one. Grey and cute, it just layed there, barley off the side of the road, half covered in fallen pine leaves. I knew there was probably something wrong with it, no cat would just lay there, so close to passing cars, so I quickly pulled over and got out of my car to see what I could do. As I approached it, it looked back and me and began hissing and growling and I could tell it was most likely a feral cat. By the time I was about a yard away from it it began crawling away, dragging it's body with its front legs. I immediatley turned around and began sobbing. I didn't want it to keep dragging itself because I was sure it was in pain, and so I walked the other way, crying, shaking, feeling as sad as I ever have. To this day the image of that cat trying helplessly, hopelessly to pull itself away from danger leaves me depressed. It is the most heart wrenching thing I've ever wittnessed and I knew then that I could not just leave it on the side of the road. I grabbed my cell phone and turned it on just to see if I could get some sort of reception and magically I had full bars. I called 411 immediatley and asked for the closest SPCA. Once I was on the phone with them I couldn't pinpoint excatly where I was and was hysterical the whole time talking about this small cat who "couldn't use it's back legs". They told me they would love to send an animal rescue but couldn't do so without an address or intersection or something. They then suggested that I try to get the animal in my car and take it to them myself. I knew this was what I had to do, but I just didn't believe I could do it. I got off the phone with them and instantly tried to call a friend, just to hear someone say, "Yes Lauren, you can do it! Go help that cat," but suddenly, I had zero reception again. I pulled my car up to the opposite side of the highway and grabbed a blanket from my trunk and made my way to the cat. During this time the cat was hissing and growling, obviously terrified and confused. A few cars stopped to ask me if I needed help and I turned to them, sobbing, but always said "No, I can do this."I threw the blanket on the cat a few times but never enough to fully cover it because I was shaking so much and it kept crawling out from under the blanket. It tore my heart to see this poor kitten crawling, in such obviously anguish and fear. Finally, I took a deep breath and threw the blanket over the cat one last time and gruffed it immediatley. It was surprisingly still. It stoppped hissing, it didn't even wiggle in my hands as I made my way to the car. I layed it in my backseat and shut the door and felt this huge wave of relief.
Okay, it's in the car now. Hard part over.
Then, I started my car and hauled ass to the SPCA, 45 miles away. Speeding through fog and curves in the road, going as fast as I could. During this trip I looked back constantly at the small cat, who sat rather peacefully in my backseat, starring at its surroundings curiously and simultainiously melting my heart. I kept saying, "Don't worry kitten, we'll be there soon, don't you worry, I'm going as fast as I can," and the cat would stare at me, head cocked, cute as could be.
Finally I parked in the SPCA lot and went inside to find some help for my newfound friend. When the veterinarian came out to my car to get the cat I asked a few questions about what would happen to it. I was told that if the back legs were broken they wouldn't be able to do anything but put the cat to sleep. Of course I was emotional about this news but then she said something i'll never forget. "Don't worry, It's great you brought her in. She is way too smart to just sit there and die. This way she'll feel no pain."
She's way too smart.
How true.
It was then, between saying goodbye to my injured feline and starting my car that I realized I need to be veterinarian. It's not a choice- just as helping that cat wasn't a choice. It's something I have to do. I may be only one of a handful of people who feels this moral obligation toward the lower half of the food chain, and so this is what I need to do. This is why I'm here.
I truly believe that.
At the end of the day, I didn't just rescue that cat- she rescued me. She showed me what I was capable of and in that instant, I found my passion.

So heres what I purpose to all you blog readers out in that vast world known as the internet:
Find what breaks your heart.
Everything else will fall into place.